Sometimes you just have to have one. Trouble is, they tend to be frowned upon in rl, unless you and everyone around you happens to be drunk at the time or you’re 9 years old and have just eaten the equivalent of your own weight in sugar. Thankfully, sanity reigns in sl, (never thought i’d say that!), and it’s perfectly acceptable, if not obligatory, to have the occasional mad half hour, or longer, as the situation dictates. In fact, there are those who have taken the madness in sl to whole new levels, stopping only occasionally for the odd half hour of sanity when circumstances demand it!
It had been one of those days – the sort when, no matter what you do, you don’t seem to get anywhere at all – one of those days when you login to sl and just want it to be a little better than the real world. Obviously a little vehicular sky diving was in order… there’s nothing to ease tension quite like throwing yourself off a platform from half a kilometre, whilst trying to manhandle the dead weight of a form of transport, never intended to leave the surface.
If i’m entirely honest, it was with more than a little trepidation that i approached the task in hand – there was no way i was going to risk a repeat of a recent escapade when, somehow, i managed to exceed the speed of sl on the back of my sit-on lawnmower with surprising and terrifying consequences. Certainly i started my journey on terra firma but, after taking the corner into Lancaster Road at something just slightly over Mach2, i suddenly found myself airborne and dramatically performing zero-g inverted loops, (yes, i’ve seen Top Gun), in a way that would have had Pete Maverick peeing his pants in sheer terror. Eventually, at somewhere around 10000 metres i managed to embed myself into the roof of somebody’s sky dome, (sorry!) and, despite the heroic efforts of Shane Wildmist – which will account for any new grey hairs you may have seen him sporting – i was completely unable to extricate myself and took the decision to bail out. Having learned from experience, i decided on a far more sedate form of transport – my Vespa GS. Now, you may be questioning my sanity – as well you might – when i class my scooter as being more sedate than a ride-on lawnmower, but this is my scooter i’m talking about which, as you have probably already guessed, is a little bit quirky. When i say ‘a little bit quirky, what i mean is that if i try to use the all-singing, all-dancing, super-duper version, i end up wearing the main scooter body somewhere around my midriff, whilst all my gadgets and accessories mock me from several feet away – not ideal for skydiving or any other pursuit that involves scooter-riding, unless you have some particularly surreal form of performance art in mind. Anyway, this means i have to fall back on my far more reliable, but infinitely more boring, wearable version – extremely slow and a tendency to fall over when i turn my AO on. It would have to do.
i have to say, it wasn’t a bad choice – i managed to travel 500m straight down and absolutely no distance at all in any other direction, although i was damn near a perfect 6.0 score for my landing! Having survived the fall, i zoomed off, (oh, alright.. chugged away), down the street and came to a screeching halt, (trundled to a gentle stop), outside the harbour. This is where Jells Bells suggested we should succumb to the lure of violence and set up an impromptu Father Christmas shooting range. There’s something in my head that completely changes my personality once you put a banana gun in my hand – i instantly go from ‘peace-loving hippy’ to ‘[rude word]ing, blood-lusting, [rude word]er’! Santa didn’t stand a chance and, once i’d finished blasting him into kingdom-come, i turned my attention to those [rude word]ing cars that think they own the road… intensely satisfying! Having created banana mayhem, and with the end of mad half hour now looming, i finished things off with a top class display of synchronised swimming all the way to the pub.
You’ve gotta love sl!
Back to normal now – or whatever passes for normal in these parts – and just a little update on developments in sl. The new gallery hasn’t ‘officially’ opened – there’s a couple of tweaks i want to make first, but i’ll be sending out a proper announcement in due course. In the meantime, feel free to wander around and drop me a note/IM if you’d like to give some feedback. Blog HQ is still a work in progress – and some of the things i want to do with it will be for some time – but i’m hoping to have it up and running in some form within the next couple of days; you’ll find it at Nowhere Land, when it does appear!
You’ll also remember i mentioned a few days back about the secret machinations going on at Linden Lab – they’re still keeping very quiet about what’s going on but i’ve been doing a spot of investigating, and i reckon they’re going to throw us a bit of a curve ball that we’re not expecting. i’ll even go so far as to tentatively stick my neck out and suggest it’ll be something to do with either audio or video options… maybe the ability to stream audio directly from a host computer, without the need for 3rd party DJ software, or possibly a built-in video capture facility? This is pure supposition on my part, but i have a hunch that something along those lines is definitely in the pipeline. i could be terribly wrong of course – it wouldn’t surprise me if they’re planning to introduce Transformer style avatars or whole new forms of lag that we haven’t even thought of yet – who knows? This is sl and anything is possible, particularly when Linden Lab have their mad half hours!
Hey you, don’t watch that
This is the heavy heavy monster sound
The nuttiest sound around
Madness – One Step Beyond