With baby steps we all begin
so, i sat down and rezzed a prim;
i made a torus, then a tube
and linked them all up to my cube.
A subtle twist, some hollowing;
a stretch, a turn and that path-cut thing.
What about flex and glowing stuff?
Not too much, but just enough.
“You paid ten bucks to upload your pic”
Now the texture’s on, it just needs a flip.
i step back a moment to admire my work
and realise i’ve been a jerk!
A gothic castle, it really is not…
A jumble of blocks is what i’ve got!
And since modern art is not my thing,
off it goes to the recycle bin.
i think i’ll try my hand at sculpts,
perhaps i’ll get some better results?
i download Blender (because it’s free!)
and, for good measure, i get Wings 3D.
After hours of fretting i’ve managed to make
precisely nothing! It’s no piece of cake.
i’ve no idea about what i’m doing;
my mind is fried and my brain is stewing!
i finally manage a sculpty map;
(but, if i’m honest… It’s a pile of crap!)
Now the flipping thing just won’t bake;
(i think i’ll stick to baking cake!);
And though i try – i can’t export my work,
so, guess who feels an utter berk!
i close the programme and make some tea;
it seems that sculpting’s not for me!
i think that i’ll try my hand at making clothes –
seems simple enough, let’s see how it goes.
Now, where do i start – the inworld menu?
What do you mean, i’ll need Photoshop too?
i’ve downloaded some templates; i’m ready to go…
but where do i start? i really don’t know!
i’ve really no concept of alpha’s and poses,
skirt and shirt fittings, hands, faces and noses;
i’m getting myself in a bit of a jam
am i dressing a woman, or clothing a man?
My prims are all backwards and i think you will find,
the front of my skirt is now the behind!
As for the shoes, i don’t understand
why there’s one on my head and one on my hand!
Oh, why is it so hard? – it’s not like i’m trying
to make something complex – only socks! (i’m not lying).
Perhaps i’m just not cut out to make clothes –
Let’s just hide all the evidence, so nobody knows!
How about mesh… How hard can it be?
You’d think i’d have learned, but face it – it’s me!
A freebie programme will do – i can’t afford Maya;
but you know what they say, God loves a trier.
After just a few minutes it has to be said;
it gets stupidly difficult; way over my head.
So, i go to the forums and ask for advice…
Nothing too techie – ‘how to switch on’ will suffice!
What’s server impact, and how does it fit
with everyday objects? (i feel such a twit!)
i’m getting all tangled – my mesh is a mess;
there’s no Torley tutorial… The Lab couldn’t care less.
i think this has been a very bad idea
and, if it gets any harder, i’ll need a large beer!
This is doing my head in; perhaps i should try
and lie down for a bit or my brain’s gonna fry!
And, as i was lying in peace on my bed
i decided it’s time i knocked mesh on the head.
So, how about scripting? – that’s got to be easy;
all these other pursuits have left me quite queasy
It started just fine… Look! – ‘Hello Avatar!’,
then went a bit pear-shaped – i didn’t get far.
Do i want script or mono? – i haven’t a clue;
i just want a poofer – is that so difficult to do?
Apparently so, as i was to find
those integers and functions just blew my mind.
What on earth is omega and why is it there?
All these weird flipping vectors; it just isn’t fair!
i turned to the Wiki and it said what i thought –
‘I’m sorry, Miss Haven, your script is quite borked!’
So you can take all your integers, and LSL lines,
and stick every one of them where the sun never shines;
i’ve had it with scripting and particle stuff,
i know when i’m beat – enough is enough!
So, i’ve given up building – it’s just not my style
and i’ll stick with the writing, at least for a while
and rather than let these things mess with my head –
just give me some lindens… i’ll go shopping instead!
This whole crazy world is just too frustratin’,
And you tell me over and over and over again my friend,
Ah, you don’t believe we’re on the eve of destruction.
Barry McGuire – Eve of Destruction