Sex!

That got your attention, didn’t it?

Fact is, SLex – i just don’t get it. Umm… perhaps i should rephrase that? What i mean to say is that i don’t really understand what’s so great about it or, for that matter, the whole concept.

Now, i know what you’re thinking… “I wonder what’s happened to bring this particularly sordid topic to the fore?” – would you believe me if i said, nothing at all? Well, whether you believe me or not, it’s the truth – here i am, sat in front of my screen, pondering what to write about; i was thinking fleas, but that’s another story entirely! Words randomly floated through my head, tugging gently at my synapses and politely enquiring whether i might consider them as writeable topics, (do other bloggers work this way?): pancakes, pixel-polaroids, patterned prims and premium promotions all tried to wheedle their way into print but it was not to be – far too many P’s there for my liking. Then i thought ‘sex’, followed by ‘why not?’ – and that’s how we’ve arrived here today.

Frankly, it astonishes me that such a significant part of sl is so geared up to pixel-sex – it seems to me to be such a bizarre phenomenon that i’m surprised there aren’t vast armies of psychologists queueing up to analyse what goes on in the heads of some residents, with whole scientific journals dedicated to the subject – i can see it now… PLoS SLex! OK, don’t get me wrong; i can see that occasionally getting jiggy with your virtual significant other can be rather a tittilatory pleasure – much in the way of a steamy ‘phone conversation or naughty, but nice, texts – i’m not knocking it, but what does bemuse me are some of the SLexy shennanigans that go on between, (presumably), consenting adults all over sl on a fairly random and none-too-meaningful basis.

Dammit! i should have gone for ‘pancakes’, after all! Still, in too deep now to withdraw, (just stop that sniggering, right now!). Let’s just pause for a moment to consider this from a rational and sensible point of view – and i’m talking about what’s happening on the screen; i really don’t wish to consider what might be going on ‘client side’, if you get my drift?

Before i get stuck in, i should also stress that i’m not talking about things like proper roleplay and similar such scenarios where people invest considerable thought and energy into cultivating an atmosphere and a real emotional involvement into their characterisation and situation – that’s a whole different ball game. No, what leaves me completely befuddled are those characters in sl, who we’ve all come across at some time, (less of the giggling!), who waddle around adult rated Sims, with their bits hanging out wanting to do teh sex, with anyone, or anything that is happy to oblige.

Here we have a bunch of – one assumes – normally rational people for whom a bit of carnal jiggery pokery consists of mixing pixels with passing strangers, whilst a poseball does all the hard work for them and all they have to do is throw in a few random ‘/me groans’, hit the ‘squirt’ button on their multi-purpose sex HUD at the appropriate moment, (i’m assuming they have such buttons… not possessing one myself), before TP’ing away to find their next willing conquest – it all seems just a little pointless and unstimulating to me.

Not that i don’t understand the theory behind all this virtual virility – they do say that the male of the species is susceptible to visual stimulus, which in a way makes sense when you consider the overtly visual nature of sl and the lengths (no pun intended) that people go to in order to make themselves appealing to other avatars. However there’s plenty of evidence to suggest that the gentler sex has just as voracious an appetite as their male counterparts when it comes to salacious and wanton virtual naughtiness, so i’m not entirely sure that’s all there is to it.

Perhaps it’s because sl offers a safe, no-contagious environment, where no-strings, no-holds-barred bonking is a far less hazardous pursuit than in rl. Perhaps sl allows people to indulge the animalistic, carnal side of their natures that polite society generally prefers to keep under wraps… whatever it is, it’s still a mystery to me.

Personally, i’d rather have a virtual cup of tea!

s. x

Sweet Nancy was so fancy
To get into her pants
We had to be the aristocracy
Deep Purple – Knocking At Your Back Door 

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