i got those ‘logged into rl and couldn’t do a damn thing because it wasn’t working at all’ blues

It had been a long day in sl – all the usual frustrations and annoyances, hassles and problems, and i was looking forward to some down time. Plans for the evening? Well, nothing set in stone, but i’d be glad to change out of these work clothes and then get out for some R&R – perhaps explore some new places, maybe meet up with some friends for a natter and a laugh… i didn’t really mind; just see what happens really.

Arriving home, the thought of popping the kettle on was uppermost in my mind, so i wasn’t really concentrating on unlocking the door. Foolishly, i seemed to have tried the wrong key in the lock… no, it was definitely the right one… i tried again. That’s odd; the key slipped into the lock easily enough but every time i tried to turn it, it would go halfway and then stop. Giving the key a good jiggle, i tried again – still no joy. After a few more attempts to get in i decided to wait a few minutes and try again – illogical, i know, but this was the only way into the building and, for some unknown reason, i just couldn’t get through the entrance.

Long minutes passed as i fought the temptation to try again too soon then, when i could wait no longer, the key was once again in the lock – this time, it turned! Then kept right on turning, around and around, with the door still stubbornly refusing to open. Stifling a curse, i withdrew the key again and carefully inspected it for any hint as to why it wasn’t working – nothing, all seemed in order. One final try then… This time the key turned, then stopped, turned a little more, stopped again, then in fits and starts finally reached the end point in the barrel: At last! The door swung open and i stepped through.

Where the hell was i? This certainly wasn’t home! And who the hell were all these people?

The room was unfamiliar and completely filled with a large group of strangers in various stages of undress – most of whom were looking as confused as i felt. With a sense of horror, i realised that most of my own clothes seemed to have vanished too and, a moment later, the complete absence of my hair registered with my addled mind! i had to get out of there!… dashing madly through the nearest door, dressed only in my underwear, the world went momentarily black, then moments later i found myself bounced back into the room i’d come from – it was as if i’d been tethered with an elastic leash.

Frantically, i tried again, and again, with the same result. Then spotting other doorways, i tried each of them in turn, only to be thrust back into the room on every occasion. At last, almost at my wit’s end, i found a door that would let me through and, on the other side, oh joy of joys, my own home… at least, it looked like my home, although there was quite definitely something not at all right with it.

It was as if a burglar with artistic leanings had decided to have a laugh at my expense: half of the things i owned were missing and most of the rest had been painted a rather unfetching battleship grey – at this point, i would have sunk wearily onto my sofa, however since the sofa appeared to have been stolen, i sank wearily to the floor instead, holding my hairless head in my hands. What on earth was going on here?

Snap out of it! This isn’t getting you anywhere! Time to get a grip and make the best of a bad deal, i told myself. First things first, i needed to get dressed – i opened the wardrobe, only to find that it had fallen victim to my unknown robber too. Seemingly randomly, a large part of my clothing had gone missing – bizarrely, there was no real logic to the theft: most outfits had bits missing… a top, without a skirt; a blouse, with no collar; all my belts were gone, together with almost all my shoes – all very weird.

Things were about to get weirder still. The few remaining wearable articles that i still possessed seemed to have been superglued to the hangers – that’s what i assumed anyway since, no matter how hard i tried, i simply couldn’t extract them from the wardrobe – it was a ridiculous situation to be in: i could see my clothes, but i just couldn’t wear them! After several failed attempts, i managed to find a mismatched set of pyjamas that i was able to put on and then i turned my attention to my missing hair. A hat would have been perfect – but they had all gone missing: in the end, i managed to find a wig i’d worn for a fancy dress outfit a couple of years previously – it looked ‘painted on’, but who was i to grumble… rather painted on hair than a bald patch, any day.

i looked down at myself and sighed – hardly dressed to impress, but i was determined to go out and have some fun. Nervously, i opened the door but it seemed all those half-naked strangers had vanished into thin air, thank goodness! Pushing open the front door, i stopped in my tracks… where had the world gone? Outside, where before there’d been streets and houses and shops, there was nothing, just the endless waves of an eternal sea!

That did it for me – i gave up and logged back out.

Thank goodness these crazy things could never happen in sl!

s. x

And I listen to this
To this voice out of pitch
The excitement or the panic of girls
And all that I heard had its own kind of reason
Was it really the end of the world?
Blondie – The End Of The World 

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This entry was posted in Rants, RL, SL, Unlikely stories. Bookmark the permalink.

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