Ever get the feeling that the Lab is having one of its vampire recruitment drives again? Seems to me that the undead are like the proverbial buses – you don’t see any for ages, then all of a sudden a whole fleet of them turns up, (and none of them going your way) – as it is, there’s been a real paucity of vampyric interludes in my SLife for quite some time; and now, for no apparent reason, i can’t turn around without bumping into one of the fanged brethren.

When it comes to vampires, i’m pretty ambivalent – the subject holds little interest for me and, when it comes to alternative lifestyles, my philosophy is ‘live and let live’, or maybe that should be ‘live and let die’, in this particular case?

Back in my noobhood, i came across vampires a lot more frequently than in more recent times – i think it’s probably a rite of sl passage to be bitten at least once… it’s almost a badge of honour for some people: “Hey! Look at me… I’ve had my first vampire bite!” – although, for many of us, the excitement soon fades; for me it was when a random Google search turned up my name, amongst hundreds, on a website that i’d not given my consent to appear on, in a league table of bite victims – i was not best amused, i can tell you!

If there’s one word that’s guaranteed to cause heated debate in any discussion of vampyrical annoyances, it’s ‘Bloodlines’ – a game i have absolutely no interest in and which probably causes as much bad feeling amongst the various vampire factions in sl as it does amongst those for whom coffins, crypts and Rhesus Negative hold absolutely no allure at all. Some time ago, i made the mistake of asking a vampire – (it could only happen in sl!) – to explain the workings of Bloodlines to me… After a long and detailed explanation i was still none the wiser, other than to have grasped the basic principles of the game, which as far as i could see, were something along the lines of a cross between those interminable chess ladders we used to have in school and the sort of league tables that seem to mean so much to soccer fans. It all sounded terribly boring.

That, for me, is the trouble with vampires in sl – the whole thing seems to be distinctly lacking in the fun department. Sure, you can dress like Vlad the Impaler and live in a castle, but – unless i’m very much mistaken – being a vampire seems to involve an awful lot of sitting around, doing not very much in particular. This is strikingly at odds with my own understanding of the living dead who should surely be streaking through moonlit skies, bursting through open windows to surprise their unsuspecting prey – (always beautiful, innocent, and with voluminous hair, artistically spread across the pillow as they sleep) – and spending a decent proportion of their time being chased through dark passageways, pursued by crucifix wielding, tweed-clad professors!

Life as a vampire in sl seems to be awfully pedestrian, unexciting and downright ‘normal’ and, though i’ve come across many vampires in my time, my path has yet to cross with a single Van Helsing or Buffy… Now, don’t you think that might liven things up a bit? Just imagine a vampire game within sl, where the forces of good could have their bit of fun too – a game where we could up the stakes, (ooh, bad pun!), introduce a bit of proper game play and keep the denizens of the dark on their toes? A game where the bitten could bite back!

s. x

Now I can only show my face at noon
And you’ll only see me walking by the light of the moon
The brim of my hat hides the eye of a beast
I’ve the face of a sinner but the hands of a priest
Sting – Moon Over Bourbon Street

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