Inspector Gadget

Been thinking of digging myself a hole and hiding in it until all the flak and angry words over the promotion of Pathfinding this week dies down, but i have a nasty feeling that content creators, flying, driving and sailing enthusiasts are really going to go to town over this rollout and the havoc it’s going to cause, (please excuse the geeky pun!) – so i could be spending a long, long time hidden away in the darkness!

Frankly, i’ve lost my appetite for castigating the lab for their increasingly mad decisions that fly in the face of what sl users are asking for, particularly when they seem hell bent on breaking that precious ‘user experience’ that they’re so anxious to preserve. Sure, back in the day, it was kind of satisfying to jump into the fray and throw a few punches, but just like poking an irritable rhinoceros with a pointy stick, it’s only fun when you get some sort of reaction… so i’m just not going to bother any more.

[Disclaimer: Please don’t try poking a rhinoceros with a pointy stick just because you read about it here. Only properly trained rhinoceros pokers should attempt this under suitably controlled conditions… i really can’t stress strongly enough that if you try to sue me for rhinoceros-linked injuries, i shall deny all knowledge and pretend that you are totally bonkers]

Besides, such stuff is guaranteed to become needlessly geeky, and nobody wants that, do they? Not that needless geekiness bothers me much – it has, on numerous occasions been suggested that i’m something of a geek, although the reality is simply that i remember stuff that no-one else cares about and i’m fairly adept at discovering arcane facts that no-one else can be bothered with – only the other day it was remarked that “Seren and Google are friends”… erm, yeah, ‘cos i don’t have any real friends, right?

It’s true that people do seem to see me as some sort of oracle when it comes to all things techie in sl… ‘Hey, Seren… how do i make collision meshes visible?’… ‘What’s that trick you do to make everyone’s hair disappear?’… and, ‘Is it true that there’s a debug setting that will stop the library from loading into inventory?’ – to me, all these things seem simple and it always surprises me when it turns out that such useful and fun tweaks to settings aren’t common knowledge – then i think about the way in which information about sl tends to be disseminated and it reminds me of a snippet from the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy…

“But Mr Dent, the plans have been available in the local planning office for the last nine months.”
“Oh yes, well as soon as I heard I went straight round to see them, yesterday afternoon. You hadn’t exactly gone out of your way to call attention to them, had you? I mean, like actually telling anybody or anything.”
“But the plans were on display …”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard’.”

…And then it all makes perfect sense.

To really get to grips with the mysteries of sl, you need to be a detective of the most determined kind…

It was going to be another one of those nights: long, dark and confusing – but that’s what you get for being a private investigator. i should have settled for an easier career… rhinoceros poker, or some such, but endless re-runs of The Rockford Files convinced me that this was the game to be in – what an idiot!

Coming to think of it, i shouldn’t be calling it a game – people round these parts don’t like to think of it in that way – virtual world seems to be the proper lingo, but if this is a world, it sure is more confusing than the real thing. 

i get people coming to me all the time asking me to find out stuff that’s been kept under wraps. Trade secrets, insider dealings, tips and tricks – call them what you want, they all come down to one simple thing… knowing where to dig to find the answers, and that’s where i come in.

You’ve gotta know where to look – none of your forums and blogs for me: that’s easy pickings; same with the wiki… besides, you never know who you can trust around these parts. No, i dig deeper, keep my contacts close and my nose clean… that’s how you get the good stuff – the kinda things that people will pay good money for.

Where do i go to find the good stuff? Now that would be telling… and a good PI never reveals their sources!

s. x

“True genius resides in the capacity for evaluation of uncertain, hazardous, and conflicting information.”
Winston Churchill

This entry was posted in Linden Love, Philosophicalisticality, SL, Techietalk, Unlikely stories. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Inspector Gadget

  1. Crap Mariner says:

    Ah, yes. The plans for the bypass scene… I’d forgotten about that. Fits perfectly.


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