One of those odd and unexpected things happened to me recently – the sort of thing that, if you’re a blogger, i suppose is somewhat inevitable and is probably a common occurrence for those of you out there in the metaverse, for whom blogging is nothing new. Even so, it’s still something that has rarely happened to me – something that, for some reason gives me goose-bumps when it does happen.
There i am exploring a Sim that i’ve always enjoyed poking around in – you should check it out too – when up popped an IM from a stranger. A stranger, it turns out, who reads this blog and also writes professionally.
‘So what?… It’s no big deal’, you may be thinking – and, of course, you’d be right – but for me, it’s actually a very strange feeling to be recognised by someone i don’t know, but whom it was obvious, was familiar with my writing, (and very gracious about it too). To understand why, you need to understand a little more about me…
Those who know me well, may be surprised to know that i’m actually very shy and retiring, that i find it difficult to have a one-to-one conversation with others and that, even in sl, i struggle terribly when around strangers. My friends list is all of 20 people, half of whom i rarely see at all, and around a third of whom are alts of other friends in the list anyway! Basically, i keep myself to myself and i never go out of my way to be anything more.
You may think it a bit odd that such a person should be a blogger – particularly since a fair proportion of my posts are of the ‘social’ kind and often have quite a personal slant – there’s no mystery to it: this blog is a remarkably effective shield – i sit on the one side of it, completely in control whilst you, dear reader, sit on the other side, oblivious to my real world and what it’s really like to be me. However, i hadn’t quite expected the blog to be quite as successful as it’s turned out… and that’s what really gives me the heebie-jeebies, albeit with that rather enjoyable frisson of unexpected ‘fame’.
You see, this was never meant to be a ‘public’ blog – even after 2 years, i still don’t allow it to be crawled by search engines – any referrals i get are by word of mouth, re-blogs or links and pingbacks – it astonishes me that i appear to have such a large readership, although that’s something that i’m extremely grateful for – you guys rock! The only trouble is, with so many of you out there, it’s inevitable that we’re going to bump into each other at some point inworld.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s a lovely thing, but i’m sorry to say that it’s something i get terribly uncomfortable with. Unlike some writers out there in blogland, who may think nothing of giving readings inworld and who have a friends list that reads like a ‘phone book, and are therefore constantly running into folk who know you from your writing, it’s all a very new and peculiar feeling for me. You see, running into someone inworld essentially breaks through this finely constructed mesh of bloggage and forces me to interact with you like a normal person… complete with messy tpyos, long embarrassing pauses, umms, erms and my complete inability to string together anything resembling a decent conversation with a stranger. You won’t see it, but i’ll be blushing, squirming in my seat and generally looking extremely uncomfortable – i’m not a great conversationist and, when faced with that kind of situation, i simply go to pieces.
Please don’t let that stop you from saying ‘Hi’, if you do happen to run across me outside this blog though: it is really lovely to meet the people who support me and encourage me through their presence and their comments, but please, don’t feel offended if i don’t seem myself. i’m not being aloof, or rude… just a little bit awkward!
Yeah, she is a legend, man I don’t doubt that
And I will screw it up, I’m used to that
Maps – I Dream Of Crystal