Nope, this isn’t a review of some sort of ghoulish, Halloween-based sl festival of gunge vendors, à la hair fair, skin fair and vampire tooth fair, (you can probably tell i’m not one to frequent these sorts of events!). You know the sort of thing – 750 vendors, all trying to flog you their latest creations, whilst heaping truckloads of inventory-swelling freebies, (circa 2009), upon you as you wade through lag like the custard that you used to have in school. That’s provided you managed to sneak past the scripting police at the entrance, who’ve insisted you strip down to your scanties and parade around with no shoes and painted-on hair.
Nope, it’s merely my rather poor attempt at humourlessly depicting the ironic unfairness of blogging about my annual bout of fetid doomspawn from the vile pits of hell the common cold and almost immediately being laid low by that very same demon, completely without warning, a mere day later. (And if anyone is foolish enough to tell me that’s merely ‘coincidence’ and not ‘irony’, then i’m afraid i’ll feel compelled to gut you alive and throttle you into insensibility with your still-throbbing entrails… i’m just not in the mood for smart arses!)
Yep, to complement my exploding eyeball, i’m now rasping like i’ve been drinking neat acid, laced with razor blades; i have a cough that would put a 60-a-day Gauloises smoker to shame; and i feel as if somebody has stuffed about a million marshmallows into pretty much every orifice above neck height that i possess, which have now swollen inside my head to such an extent that my brain – or something even more nasty – is almost continually oozing from my nostrils. Add to that a washed-out feeling akin to having been through an industrial washing-machine stuck on the ‘heavily soiled’ programme, together with a the aches and pains that go with it, and you have a rough idea of how i’m feeling. And – if you haven’t guessed it already – i am feeling particularly, miserably, sorry for myself.
All right, whinge-fest over – i apologise.
i can’t blog tonight – brain is far too busy fighting marshmallows. Instead, here is a lovely picture of me being all posh. 🙂
P.S. If you catch something from reading this blog, it’s not my fault… probably one of those internet viruses they keep going on about!
I’m so sick,
Infected with where I live
Let me live without this
Flyleaf – I’m So Sick