The continuing adventures of Seren in Blunderland

75234_364570403642045_1491492983_n_largeIt was going to be one of those most peculiar days – the sort of day that starts out all unicorns and fairies and ends up all walruses and chopped-off heads… it just wouldn’t do!

Sighing to herself, she resolved there and then to resist the forces of strangeness and make something good from the day. No chasing after mad rabbits and white hatters, no drinking of mysterious potions or munching on suspect cakes, and absolutely no tea-parties. She secretly blamed the interminable tea-parties for stopping her from ever getting things done – and that dratted caterpillar, with his weird wacky-baccy, of course.

No… today she would do something worthwhile: gardening would be just the ticket. alice_001Before she could start though, she really needed to spruce the place up a bit. “How on earth did i ever become so disorganised”, she wondered to herself, as she set about clearing away all the bits of furniture, empty boxes and half-finished buildings that lay, liberally scattered all around where she wanted her garden to be. It was hard work, but after some time had passed, the area looked presentable and ready to be planted with some of the lovely plants and trees that she’d had hanging about unused for so long…

“A great big cherry tree in the middle, to start with”, she thought, whipping out a lovely, pink-blossomed specimen she’d been saving for quite a while. Sparks flew and, rather than the pretty tree she thought she had planted, she was faced instead with a rather rude message: You can’t put that there! The owner of the land doesn’t allow it!

“How curious”, she thought and tried again – she knew from experience that her aim was pretty rubbish and it was quite likely that she’d accidentally tried to plant the tree in her neighbour’s back garden – it wouldn’t be the first time! Again, she received the same rude message… and again, and again, and again! “Curiouser, and curiouser!”


A chuckle sounded behind her, intruding into her bemused thoughts. She turned to find a leering smile, which slowly revealed itself to belong to a large and smelly cat. The cat winked at her, licked its paw, and said pointedly: “You’re not not going to get anywhere doing that – the land owner won’t let you rez things here”.

“Hey! i can read, thank you very much”, she responded testily, “which is plainly something that you’re incapable of, since if you could read, you’d notice that the land owner is ME!”

“Oooh! Keep your knickers on!”, replied the cat, smiling nastily, “Of course I can read, and I can clearly see who the land owner is… but how exactly do I know that you’re who you say you are?”

Exasperated, she pointed to the lettering hanging over her head: “Read the bleedin’ label”, she said in a voice laden with sarcasm.

“Well”, purred the cat, “it certainly appears that you own this place, but you can’t argue with the facts – if you really were the owner, then you’d have no problem planting your trees, would you?”

Wondering to herself how much room exactly you’d need to swing a rather large and manky cat, she replied through gritted teeth, “Yeah, well i am the owner, and i don’t care what you or the flipping server thinks… there’s absolutely no reason why i shouldn’t be able to plant anything i damn well like here! Just watch this!” Flinging out her arm, she rezzed a brand new cube, followed by a torus and a cylinder – the plywood shapes appeared exactly where she wanted them and stayed put, on their very best behaviour. “See!”,  she exclaimed, before digging once more into her inv. and dragging out a wishing well… which promptly refused to rez and threw up the irritating message that she wasn’t allowed to rez there, because she refused to give herself permission to do it!

“Aaarggh!”, she exclaimed and sat down in a huff!

The cat chuckled. “My, my… we are in a tizzy today, aren’t we? Never mind… perhaps if you ask the landowner nicely, they might give you permission to rez here?”

“But i AM the landowner”, she protested, but it was too late – the cat was gone, leaving only the remnant of a fading sardonic smile. Cursing to herself, she decided to take a nap… maybe when she woke up she’d find it had all been a rather curious and unpleasant dream?

(It wasn’t!)

s. x

There’s a place where the garden can take you
Through the looking glass
Find a way with the plants – they can take you
To your path
Hypnogaja – Looking Glass

This entry was posted in Builder's bum, Rants, SL, Unlikely stories. Bookmark the permalink.

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