There are few things worse than a sleepless night – the sort of night when your brain simply won’t switch off, no matter how hard you try… Thoughts, scenarios, even songs and movies clog up your mind and nothing you do can shift them. As the night progresses, and you get ever more tired and frustrated, the bed becomes a battleground – covers and pillows in disarray; physical evidence of the mental torment going on within.
Eventually, somehow, you finally sleep, to awake the next morning ill-tempered, with panda-eyes and cloying fatigue.
This happens to me on occasion – without warning, my normal pattern of peaceful nights collapses and i find myself, for anything up to a week, afflicted by this hyperactive nocturnal mindset. In the most obvious ways it’s terribly destructive – by day, i’m a zombie: incoherent, irritable and with an insatiable need for strong coffee, preferably intravenously. Conversely, my nightly mindstorming can be an incredibly productive time, spawning ideas, plans and solutions to problems with a fecundity denied to me during waking hours. i’m not one for dreaming – i’m rarely aware of dreams and i’m prone to forget even the most vivid of dreams, when i do have them, almost immediately upon waking – the mental machinations that go on during my sleepless nights, however remain fresh in my mind, not just the following day, but for as long as i need them… irritatingly, they’ll often reappear the following night, just to frustrate me all the more!
Last night’s synaptic struggle was particularly productive – for some reason, my brain wanted to get to grips with the problem i mentioned in my last post: what to do for SL10B – as the night wore on, my mind went into builder mode and, without further interference from my cognitive self, (other than the occasional muttered “Shut up and go to sleep!”), gleefully experimented and tossed around ideas, blueprints and plans, whilst i – in a manner of speaking – looked on from the sidelines, bemused and very much a spectator.
My thought processes are interesting beasts at the best of times: stepping aside, as it were, and watching them in action – despite the sleep deprivation – was somewhat educational. In the early hours of this morning, i watched myself come up with a number of different ideas, visualised the building process, modified, tore-down and adjusted until, somewhat to my surprise, i had a finished article. Everything, from the concept, layout, structure and even textures had been covered, and i was pretty pleased with the results.
You’d think that, having come up with a build for SL10B, my brain would have clocked-off and given me the chance to grab some sleep, but no – if it’s possible for a mind to have a mind of its own, it then went on to throw more ideas at me: opportunities to involve other residents, possibilities for related activities… it just went on, and on, and on!
Eventually, thankfully, i did get to sleep -but i’m a complete grouch today and totally brain-dead.
So, there you have it. It seems that i will indeed be applying for a plot at SL10B, and don’t be surprised if you guys get offered a chance to contribute in some way too, if all goes to plan. To be honest with you, the build is going to stretch my abilities, but the brain seems to know what it’s doing, so i’ll just play along and see what happens – i won’t say too much more about it right now, just in case it does all go horribly wrong, in which case i’ll be having stern words with my subconscious and telling it to butt out of my business – and slumbers – in future!
My number one priority now is to start building – it’s going to take a lot of time and effort to get it right, which means i have to start straight away… so much for going inworld to relax and chill!
My other priority, is to get some sleep!
This place is hell to me and i can never get no sleep
there’s a devil in my bed with me who’s talk is cheap
you feel like heaven to me all i want to do is sleep
you’re like an angel lyin’ next to me you look so sweet
My Ruin – Close Your Eyes