Bake fail

unknownCelebrity chefs – they get everywhere: there was a time when the words ‘celebrity’ and ‘chef’ rarely came together, on the infrequent occasions that they did, the emphasis would always be on the recipes. These days, practically anyone who dons an apron and is capable of boiling an egg seems to have their own TV show, almost always turning some element of the culinary art into a competition and almost exclusively concentrating on the cooking skills, or otherwise, of some hapless member of the public, or lesser celebrity chef. The days of a good old ‘how to bake a decent cake’ programme are long-gone; now it’s more a case of ‘how to bake a cake to Michelin star standards, against the clock, with a live studio audience, using only whitebait, bananas and a jus of stoat, whilst simultaneously decorating your own restaurant in the style of Bernard Manning’.

As for the chefs themselves, it seems that cooking is the last thing we’re likely to see them involved in – i see that only this week, Heston Blumethal has launched his new range of spectacles… a field in which he is, quite obviously, eminently qualified!

Speaking of spectacles, and a complete lack of satisfactory baking, it seems that sl has taken offence at the appearance of a large number of its users and the virtual world they inhabit and, in a show of defiance, has decided to afflict us with a totally unreasonable lack of rendering just recently.

It’s weeks like this past one that make me feel that server-side avatar baking can’t come soon enough – it’s intensely irritating to have to rebake every time i want to take a screenshot, only for my features to blur once again at the precise moment i take the shot. Similarly, it’s very easy to get rapidly bored with being surrounded by grey figures, all of them coalescing into their proper colours, seemingly at random and to their own cockeyed timeframe. Hopefully, we’ll finally see an end to this nonsense when SSAB explodes onto the scene, although i’m a little wary about getting over-enthusiastic just yet… it’s not unknown for a company’s servers to be woefully inadequate for coping with the demand placed upon them by users!

However, the kind of bake fail we’ve been seeing hasn’t been limited to avatars – this week, i’ve spent a whole evening completely greyed out to everyone surrounding me – no matter what i tried to fix it – even though, i looked perfectly OK on my own screen. There’s something intrinsically soul-destroying about making the effort to look good, when the only person who can see what you’re wearing is yourself. Then there have been the dodgy textures everywhere that never seem to entirely load – it’s unpleasant to have to wander round a mushy world at the best of times, far worse when – like myself – you’re trying to get work done inworld. The time i’ve spent redesigning Nowhere Land was far longer than strictly necessary, thanks to constantly having to refresh textures around me, just to see how the place was looking. These are not issues that will be fixed with SSAB.

It’s pointless asking what’s going on – plenty of people are very much aware of the problem, but nobody seems to know what the cause might be, or whether we can expect any improvement. What we do know is that the Lindens are currently expending a lot of effort on fixes to the Interest List and that things aren’t always progressing as smoothly as they’d like, but with the Jira closed, there’s no way of knowing what’s really going on.

It’s been quite some time since i had a rant about things not going well, mainly because sl seems to have been running very smoothly lately, but with the problems i had earlier this week and now the bake fail issues, i’ve reached a point where i’m feeling ever-so-slightly miffed… if there’s one thing i hate, it’s wasting time in sl doing things that simply should not be necessary, just to be able to get on with SLife as normal. This past week, i’ve wasted far more time than is acceptable, and all this with no information about why things are as they are, or whether anybody is doing anything about it.

/me is not a happy Easter bunny!

There, got it off my chest… much happier now!

Have a great weekend folks, and for those of you for whom Easter is a time to celebrate, holiday or simply gorge yourselves on chocolate, i hope it’s a good one for you.

s. x

Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don’t think that I can take it’
Cause it took so long to bake it
And I’ll never have that recipe again, oh no
Sammy Davis Jnr. – MacArthur Park

This entry was posted in Half-Baked, Philosophicalisticality, Rants, RL, SL. Bookmark the permalink.

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