Shut the flock up!

tumblr_mkc3rjYsu51rrptnso5_1280_large (1)Being the idiotic adventurous type that i am, you’ve probably already surmised that i have indeed been ‘feeling brave’ and signed myself up to the Firestorm preview group. There’s a few reasons for this – firstly, i will admit to a selfish frisson of delight at grabbing the latest pre-release version before the masses get their grubby little hands on it – i imagine it’s the same sort of feeling that weirdos gamers get after queuing for hours to grab the latest X-PlayboxStation within the few first seconds of it becoming available. However, believe it or not, there’s also a philanthropic side to my nature that quite enjoys the idea of becoming a virtual guinea-pig and doing my bit to improve the lot of others. There’s also the adventurer in me – out there on the fringes of the known, ready to tackle the hidden secrets of new territory – and, let’s face it, how often do you get the chance to do that these days?

If there’s one thing thing that i’ve learned about sl – things rarely turn out to be the way you’d expect them to be, and try as i might, it seems that’s a truism that you simply can’t escape from, no matter how serious, important or worthy your own intent might be – there’s always some barmy twit out there, actually quite a large number of them, whose sole aim in life seems to be to make you purse your lips, count to ten and bite your tongue.

In this particular respect, it is the preview group – or rather other members of the group – that have once again managed to reaffirm my belief that half the people in sl should really be locked up for their own – and the rest of SLociety’s – good. Maybe i’ve lead a somewhat sheltered SLife: i never really saw the point of the Lab increasing the maximum groups to 40 – even now, after a decent length of time in sl, i’m struggling to hit 20 and, if i’m honest, a good half of those seem to have achieved an almost terminal level of inactivity. That’s not to say there aren’t groups of which i’m a member that have a fairly decent level of activity, but in the main – and this is a crucial point – that activity is pretty benign and subdued.

There are occasions that things get out of hand: group chats will suddenly flower from nowhere like a sickly bloom, flourish noisomly for a while and then, eventually, die a suppurating and lingering death – extremely irritating, annoyingly intrusive, but in the main, harmless and usually fairly relevant to others involved in the group. i may not be a group groupie, like some, but i’m also not under the illusion that all is unicorns and candyfloss in sl groups… or so i thought, because it seems when i joined the Firestorm preview group, my expectations of other joinees may have been somewhat optimistic.

In my poor addled brain, i thought i would be joining a group full of altruistic, enlightened and earnest users, dedicated to the betterment of sl and the Firestorm viewer. No doubt, there are a good many of them hidden away in the group, but i’m sorry to say, there are also a whole flock of self-serving, inane, annoying, timewasting, noise-making, whingeing, whining, spamming tossers for whom i have absolutely zero tolerance, even on a good day.

These banal douchebags find nothing more amusing than to spam group chat randomly with complete and utter garbage and, like a horde of mindless Mexican wavers, or a flock of hapless sheep, once one starts, everybody else seems to feel obliged to add their own pearl of wisdom… the result is like a particularly squeaky set of prim nails being drawn down a badly-textured blackboard.

Here’s a recent outtake to show you what i mean, (names changed to protect the imbecilic, and the odd voice of reason):

[15:09]  Plonker Resident: .
[15:10]  Twit Resident: thats the point
[15:10]  Idiot Resident: ;
[15:10]  Pratt Resident: lol
[15:10]  Jerk Resident: ‘
[15:10]  Nutter Resident: what point?
[15:10]  Pleb Resident: Where is Victor Borga when we need him?
[15:10]  Idiot Resident: [15:09] Plonker Resident: .
[15:11]  Sensible Resident: Please be considerate of the other ~2000 users in this group and don’t spam.. Thanks! =)
[15:11]  Pleb Resident: What’s your point Sensible?
[15:12]  Halfwit Resident: dont spam?
[15:12]  Pleb Resident: But I don;t like spam
[15:12]  RTFM Resident: Question. Having just joined the group, when do you receive the link for the preview of the pre-release?
[15:12]  Twit Resident: noo.. right… it is spam so we should stop now
[15:13]  Moron Resident: Why would anyone want to spam this group?
[15:13]  Tightlipped Resident: read the notices,  ıllıllı RTFM ıllıllı
[15:13]  Braindead Resident: wow
[15:13]  RTFM Resident: Will do now.
[15:15]  Sensible Resident: you get the link when it is ready  RTFM
[15:15]  Pleb Resident: LOL  go figure
[15:15]  Dork Resident: nah thats not it, usually when someone puts a dot, they are about to spam
[15:15]  Dork Resident: so learn the facts before you dis people k?
[15:16]  Stupid Resident: I like frying spam slices untill they’re crispy at both sides
[15:26]  Pleb Resident: Cant afford the lobster but sure would like the egg and spam
[15:28]  Pleb Resident: Buuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrppppppppp!!!!!!!!!
[15:28]  Pleb Resident: ummmmmmm gooooood

OK… maybe the occasional bit of flippant play is fine, even in what i assumed should be an eminently sensible group, but this happens ALL THE BLOOMING TIME!

In an effort to preserve my sanity and get a bit of peace and quiet, i’m afraid i’ve resorted to desperate measures – the moment anyone proceeds to say anything remotely unrelated to the group’s purpose, or asks the seemingly inevitable question “is the new release out yet?”, i mute them. No second chances. No questions asked. No arguing. Muted. Finito.

The rate i’m going, i’ll have muted most of Firestorm’s users by the time the next release comes out!

Perhaps my expectations are just too high? What can i say?… Sorry, but i’m not going to lower my standards: spam all you want, but i’m simply not going to listen to you.

s. x

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
Simon & Garfunkel – Sounds of Silence

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