No, really, it’s true – quiet, innoffensive, butter-wouldn’t-melt, liddle me is actually well-scary and should only be approached with extreme caution, preferably whilst wearing full body armour and with tactical weapons support from Strike Team Alpha!
This, needless to say, has come as something of a surprise to me, since up until now, i’ve always considered myself to be one of the least scary people i know. That, apparently, is not strictly true – in the past month, at least three people inworld have told me they are either intimidated by me, or find me to be a scary person; and, when i checked with The Vellatron – officially the scariest person in sl ever – she confirmed that i am indeed a terrifying figure!
Now, you’d think there would be something overtly obvious to give the game away – perhaps an insane bloodlust and predilection for gory roleplay, or a habit of TP’ing in to people’s bedrooms unannounced to deposit horses’ heads upon their pillows, or maybe a penchant for wearing giant spider or werewolf avatars and howling at the moon… but, whilst these are all fairly common aberrations within the confines of sl, they are not activities that i tend to favour.
In fact, if you were to ask me to outline the characteristics that define me, i’d certainly be making use of terms such as ‘quiet’, ‘unassuming’, ‘somewhat introvert’ and ‘keep myself to myself’… although when i look at those descriptions, it strikes me that those are pretty much the stock phrases that neighbours trundle out when describing serial killers who bury their victims under the patio – all i need to complete the picture is a blurry polaroid dug out from some 80’s photo album! Perhaps i should be worried about that? There are other, more positive, aspects to my character though – when around friends, i can be sociable, even loud and a bit of a party animal, although you’ll only really see this side of me when i feel at ease and comfortable with my surroundings – but honestly, it’s been quite some time since i last buried anyone under a patio and i don’t think there’s anything particularly disturbing about my behaviour that should intimidate anyone, (although i have been known to wear some pretty freaky hairstyles in my time).
Yet, it seems that i’ve been living my virtual life in blissful ignorance of the fact that the reason nobody ever messages me, wants to add me as a friend, or invite me to tea is nothing to do with me being ever-so-slightly bonkers, being unable to spell peoples’ names when i’m anything less than sober or the worry that they might end up featured as the main attraction in my next blog post. No, it’s none of those things – it’s simply that people are terrified of me.
What can i do? Perhaps i should start posting pictures of kittens doing incredibly cute stuff on this blog, or maybe i should walk round sl bearing a sign that says ‘Please hug me – i’m really not scary’, or i suppose i could re-invent myself as a dear old grandmother avatar that no-one could possibly be intimidated by?
Then again, i can’t help how people view me – perhaps i am dead scary, after all, and there’s not a whole lot i can do to change it. Is that such a bad thing?
Shiny, shiny, shiny boots of leather
Whiplash girlchild in the dark
Velvet Underground – Venus In Furs