Implausible pursuits

largeOnce again, good old sl – quite out of the blue – has come to the rescue when i’m struggling for a subject. Having pretty much given up on posting today, i turned my attention towards sorting out some textures i’d been asked to create and, in the five minutes i was inworld to upload, inspiration quite literally crossed my path.

Now, i’ve come across some strange pursuits and some very peculiar practices in sl – some of which really aren’t suitable for discussion in polite company – but for sheer oddity value and pointlessness, the ‘challenge’ appearing in this particular avatar’s profile has to be right up there, somewhere in the top ten.

jump“i bet you 10L$ I can jump over you! [unless you over 5’8″] i do it backwards so you need turn around or by butt hit your nose maybe, you not want that, but maybe you do!”

Am i missing something here? Is this some avant garde pick-up strategy that i’ve been blissfully unaware existed until now? (And yes, i’m perfectly aware that there are people who would happily put themselves on the receiving end of a butt to the nose – i’ve seen those websites!). Or is this, as i suspect, one of the most ill-informed moneyspinners i’ve yet come across in sl?

Picture a fresh-faced noob, stumbling around Welcome Island, to be met by a cynical and jaded old-timer….

“Psst… wanna make some easy cash?”

“Well, not really – I’m only here because I want to do teh sex and someone told me Second Life is a 24/7 pixel bonk fest.”

“Yeah, really? Tell you what, sweetheart, sign up here and – for a small-ish cut of your profits – not only will you get to ‘jump’ as much as you can handle, you’ll get to earn mega bucks too! You in?”

“Yes, I’m in!”

Poor kid – i love the caveat ‘unless you over 5’8″‘ – sorry hun, but that’s pretty much most of the population of sl – even titchy me is taller than that! Unless you intend bunny hopping over tinies, and believe me, that’s not something that they’re going to take kindly to, let alone shell out lindens for the privilege.

What is it about sl that compels so many of us to pursue totally half-arsed schemes that would cause us to shrivel up with embarrasment at the mere thought in the real world? Do they do this kind of thing elsewhere online?

“Hey man, what did you do last night?”

“Get this… I skilled up a level in WoW, and now I get to beg people to let me jump over them for peanuts, (as long as they’re not over 5’8″)!”

“Awesome dude!”

(Erm… do people still talk like that, outside 80’s cult teen movies?)

Somehow there’s something horribly tacky about the levels to which we allow ourselves to descend when inworld – sure there’s nothing wrong with having fun and amusing ourselves, even the odd moment of total silliness, and – although it does nothing for me – i’m sure SLex has it’s place too: coming to think of it, there’s something quite convenient about being able to get on with the washing-up, whilst your avatar gets on with, erm, getting it on. That aside though, some of the total inanity that you stumble across in sl can’t help but make you question where the hell technology has brought us.

Did those bright-eyed and beer-fuelled geniuses who first dreamed up virtual worlds really have these sort of things in mind when they tentatively established the foundations for the metaverse? Were these the lofty ideas they pursued for the betterment of humanity or, somewhere along the way, did SLevolution veer off to follow a pathway all of its own… after all, why bother with survival of the species when we can have enormous norks and bolt-on butts? In point of fact, i just did an experimental search on the Marketplace using ‘intelligent’ as my keyword, and there prominent amongst the AI pets, i found the Smart Sex Bot Fur Base; ghostbuster outfits for men and women; the Hello Titty top, and; the T-ight- Girl Thong – all on the first page.

Much as i try to persuade myself that sl enjoys a certain standard of intelligent and discerning residents making up its user base, i can’t help feeling – based on the sheer number of profiles that argue otherwise – that we’re seeing a gradual dumbing-down of our virtual world, and all that entails.

It’ll be a sad day when the best we can manage is: “Will jump for lindens” 😦

s. x

I was born in a cross-fire hurricane
And I howled at my ma in the driving rain,
But it’s all right now, in fact, it’s a gas!
But it’s all right. Im jumpin jack flash
The Rolling Stones – Jumpin Jack Flash

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