disclaimerNever once, in any of my endeavours – inworld, real world or anywhere in between have i ever felt the need to add a disclaimer to anything i’ve said, done or written – and before some smartypants does a hasty search through the pages of this blog and berates me soundly for lying, there are indeed a couple of disclaimers to be found in my jabberings, but i think you’ll find that they’re entirely there for comedy effect.

Perhaps i should clarify – i’ve never felt the need to append a serious disclaimer to anything i’ve done out of a fear that someone will try to sue me, beat me about the person with a knobbly stick, or plaster my name all over the interweb as a heathen scumbag, who should be burned at the stake until crispy. By all means, if you ever disagree with anything i say, please feel free to invoke any, or all, of the above: suing me won’t achieve much – i have no money or property worth having; if you try to beat me with a stick, you’ll have to find me first, (/me dons false moustache and adopts fake comedy accent); and, as for slandering my name across the interwebs, well… no publicity is bad publicity, right?

Frankly, i’ve never understood the point of disclaimers anyway, their sole purpose – it seems to me – is to justify, (or alternatively, protect against), unmerited and overly-dramatic knee-jerk reactions to trifling matters, in what is an increasingly litigious, politically correct and zealously hypersensitive society.

Disclaimers are pretty much a pointless exercise anyway: rarely worth the paper/pixels upon which they’re inscribed, and usually unenforceable in any competent jurisdiction. Yet, even so, we feel that boilerplating that magic word to any small print automatically gets us off the hook and renders us instantly untouchable, no matter what it is we’re trying to justify. This is why we live in a world plastered with warnings that hot pie fillings may be hot, bags of nuts may contain nuts and true stories are based on characters whose only resemblance to persons alive or dead is accidental, (no words were harmed in the writing of this post).

discloseNonsense! Complete and utter nonsense – i wouldn’t even give such things the time of day if it weren’t for the fact that we sl people are completely obsessed with the damn things. Whether it’s blogging about a new pair of shoes, giving advice on how best to set up a viewer or the mind-bogglingly stupid disclaimers that we see plastered over so many avatarian profiles, we don’t seem to be able to get by without our daily fix of disclaimers.

Do you really care if a particular fashion blogger happens to be best buddies with the designer of the clothes they’re reviewing? Of course not! You couldn’t give a stuff about whether they give a gushing review, or not – all you really care about is: a) do they think it’s crap; b) will it make people insanely jealous when i wear it?; c) is it dirt cheap?, and; d) will my knees/boobs poke through the fabric when i’m dancing? What bloggers seem to forget is that we really couldn’t care less about them, their opinions or which names in the rag trade they feel like dropping – all we care about is the pretty pictures!

phils car2Similarly, why on earth would we want to give ‘full disclosure’ that we once worked with/spoke to/shagged the person about whom we’re going to write – are people seriously going to think to themselves, “oh my goodness, i’m not going to read anything unbiased and balanced here… i’d best stop reading right now”? It’s hogwash and just another way to namedrop and pretend you’re famous, (by the way, what do you think of that piccy of me stealing a ride in Philip Linden’s personal car?).

By far the most ridiculous and pointless disclaimers though are the completely pointless ravings that appear in so many sl profiles. You know the ones… “Don’t think of quoting me or sharing chat logs, or even taking my picture, bitch! The TOS says you can’t blah-de-blah-de-blah…” – You people are taking sl way too seriously! Of course i know what the TOS says – how can i not, when every other profile i see is ramming it down my pixellated throat? – but, unlike the majority of those who cite the words as inviolate, i also understand their purpose. The TOS isn’t written to protect you from those nasty, chat-logging, drama-making biatches, my poor, misunderstood and abused darling sweeties; it’s there solely to protect Linden Lab from being sued for defamation of character. Besides which, if i’m going to quote you, i’ll do it right here in full, fabulous HD Serendipidoscope™ with surround sound, complete with names, pictures and behind the scenes gossip, because a) i can, and b) nobody cares, least of all Linden Lab!

The best thing about profiles with all that nonsense about quoting chat logs in their picks is that you can pretty much guarantee that the rest of their picks will be chock full of copied and pasted chat uttered by friends, enemies and random strangers. Seriously?

Oh gosh, look at me – started off by saying i couldn’t give a flying fig about this disclaimer nonsense and then i go off on a diatribe against the damn things! Perhaps a nice calming cuppa is in order… yes, that’s what i’ll do, before i really get into my stride!

s. x

We ordered it for ages, ink on pages
So here it is with no disclaimers
The Herd – No Disclaimers

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