Under normal circumstances, i am not what you’d consider to be a vindictive or particularly combative type of person. When it comes to conflict, i’d much rather be at the bar than participating in the brawl, and i’m a pretty even-tempered sort, even when all around me are losing their heads. Those who know me, won’t be particularly surprised to hear this, but even the mildest-mannered, most retiring and shy of us have a – mostly hidden – side, that can rise to the moment, given due provocation… and, when it does, look out! Remember, it’s always the mild-mannered ones, who ‘keep themselves to themselves’, who turn out to be serial killers!
There are plenty of things in sl that can drive pretty much anyone over the edge, whether it’s the inevitable technical issues, the equally inevitable drama, frustrations with building, scripting or anything creative, Linden Lab, and even the flaming, trolling and general backstabbing that goes on in some blogs and forums linked to sl – there are bound to be some things, sometimes, that are going to make us snap.
Thankfully, in many cases, we have the tools at our disposal to fend off such annoyances, with swift and deadly retribution – mute, derender, ban and AR are our friends and they can be used to great effect. Not that i find many excuses to employ such draconian measures, but sometimes there’s huge satisfaction to be gained in doing so, especially when you’re able to fire off a pre-emptive strike. Take the couple of furries i discovered hanging around the border of my parcel recently, one of whom then sprouted an enormous appendage, the size of which would have made a well-endowed stallion feel inadequate, before proceeding to bonk his partner senseless, in full view of anybody who might be passing. Not particularly the sort of behaviour befitting my ‘moderate’ rated, and genteel neighbourhood – seldom has anyone been so rapidly banned from my backyard, i can tell you!
Some things simply shouldn’t be tolerated; but then there are those little annoyances that niggle away until, one day, the fateful last straw settles gently down upon the camel’s back, and all hell breaks loose – that Michael Douglas moment.
In my case, it’s scripted vehicles – doesn’t matter what they are, or how they’re scripted, or what they’re supposed to do – over time, in my mind, they’ve become a malignant, festering, turbulent source of steaming vitriol. There’s the driveable variety – or rather, the variety that are supposed to be driveable, except when i’m behind the wheel , at which point they become as controllable as a supermarket trolley with only three wheels, (one of which is seized solid, and the remaining two redefine the meaning of wonky). They remind me of that memorable quote of Ford Prefect’s: “Looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow” – which pretty much sums up my inworld driving prowess. i have vivid memories of rezzing my dustbin lorry on one of the mainland roads, only to drive it headfirst into a bunch of innocent people minding their own business on the side of the road – quite a feat considering there appeared to be nobody else anywhere on the whole of the mainland at the time.
By far the worst though are those incredibly annoying semi-sentient infernal machines that ply the roads and highways of sl, without a thought for pedestrians, other road users, or – for that matter – their physical position on, or off the road. Yes, i know they’re fun and landowners get great satisfaction from injecting a bit of realism into their towns and cities, but i have a singularly poor rapport with the damn things! It wouldn’t surprise me if they’re scripted with a built-in Seren sensor – a malicious piece of code with only one purpose: to seek me out, and mow me down!
It seems i can’t cross the road without some great lumbering Cadillac attempting to take me out, or a taxi trying to terminate me… and, this week, i finally decided enough was enough. Y’know, the only way to deal with bullies is to take them on at their own game and show them your steely side… and boy, was it time to kick some automotive ass!
Bigger, better, faster, stronger… and tyre treads you could lose an elephant in!
Let this be a lesson to you – don’t upset the Serenitron, or you’ll get what’s coming to you!
You can run over me with your 18 wheeler truck
And I won’t give a fuck
You can hang me like a slave
I’ll go underground
You can run over me with your 18 wheeler but
You can’t keep me down, down, down, down
Pink – 18 Wheeler