Sorry, do i know you?
Did you really just ask me – a total stranger – whether i’d like to give you money to assist with your online schooling?
Honey, let me give you a little online schooling of my own, and hell, i won’t even expect you to pay for it!
First off, might i suggest that you get what you pay for, and it’s pretty obvious from your incredibly naive, and less-than compelling message that fifty bucks a month of schooling has left you woefully ill-equipped to deal with the harsh realities of life. Frankly, you’d be better off skipping the learning altogether and saving the cash to spend on something more useful like, oh i dunno… brain surgery, perhaps?
What’s that, sweetie-pie… you’re confused? Why i am not surprised at that?
Let me explain: Generally, i’m more than willing to support worthy causes – and indeed, i routinely do just that, but in this instance let me qualify my position by stressing the word ‘worthy’ – an essential element, as far as i’m concerned to any transaction of the nature you have suggested. In simple terms, i’m going to need more than a vague statement from a complete stranger, out of the blue inviting me to give them cash without at least some assurance that you are both genuine and intent upon putting my hard-earned monies to work in the manner you have suggested.
As a rule – charity aside – i expect to get something in return for my investment. If it’s going to cost me, then it’s going to cost you something too – that’s the way things work. If, for example, you were to ask me for money in exchange for an item of clothing you had spent time and effort creating, i might consider making a deal. Maybe you could offer to run some errands for me or undertake a few tasks for a small monetary consideration? That’s how we tend to do things around here because, believe me, if coining it in was just a simple matter of asking other people for handouts, society, commerce and industry would grind to a sudden and rather unpleasant halt. Hyper-inflation would gain hold of the virtual world and a plain old prim loaf of bread would set you back several trillion lindens – we’d be carting our cash around in wheelbarrows, except we wouldn’t be able to afford the wheelbarrows, even if anyone could afford to make them!
Returning to your request – a little more information might, (although probably won’t), help your cause: How much, for example, are you suggesting i donate? Can you provide me with referees that will vouch for your integrity, or at least provide evidence that supports your case? Do i get to see a list of other benefactors that have invested in your schooling to date? Indeed, where can i go to confirm the veracity of this online schooling – is there a website, curriculum or campus where i might find further information? A diploma… in what, exactly – bullshit, perhaps?
Sorry if i appear to be somewhat unconvinced by your pitch, but it does leave an awful lot of room for doubt, and – call me suspicious – i can’t help feeling that you’re actually trying to take me for a ride. What assurance have you given that you don’t intend spending my hard-earned cash on virtual drugs, or booze, or maybe on that luscious pair of mesh boots in the store down the road? None at all, i’m afraid – your lack of a convincing argument means i am indeed unconvinced that your intentions are entirely honourable.
However, none of the above are ultimately my reasoning for kicking you soundly into touch – it was the manner in which you approached me that nailed your little coffin tightly shut. You see, had you been a friend – someone i know and trust and someone whose integrity i wouldn’t doubt, there’s a chance i might have considered a gift, or perhaps a loan. However, you are not a friend, not even vaguely an acquaintance: what you are is a complete stranger who made no effort to introduce yourself or even pretend to get to know me – a rude, inconsiderate and irritating intrusion whose uninvited and unprovoked IM, with its arrogant and unpleasant demands, sent from the safety of the other side of the sim, was doomed from the outset. In short, you are a virtual parasite.
No, i won’t give you my money – i don’t believe you, and you don’t deserve it.
Instead, let me invite you to spend a little time learning in my school – we call it the school of hard knocks… and i’m the Principal!
Lucy the castle, she is my new friend,
L-L-L lucy the castle she will never pretend
Shes a real one, a dancer wants to cause some fun
She’s a true bird, a raver, a diamond on the run
Twisted Wheel – Lucy The Castle