Do I know you Hon………..

convOh, my word… Silly season is upon us once more!

Why do these things always have to happen to me? Of all the people on the Grid at any given time, why is it that I’m the one that all the weirdos gravitate to?

There I was, minding my own business, just doing my own thing quietly and unobtrusively when ‘that’ unprompted IM pops up on my screen:

[12:11] Complete Stranger: Do I know you Hon………..

It’s by no means the most offensive message I’ve ever received out of the blue, and it lacks the panache of ‘fancy a shag babe?”or ‘Do you wanna see my cock, I’ve got two sluts here and a spare poseball just for you’, but as an opening salvo it does commit the cardinal sin of ending in that universal term of endearment, guaranteed to set a stranger’s heart fluttering: ‘Hon’, (and what’s with supernumerary ellipses?). This is never a good way to attempt to begin a conversation with me – by all means, give ‘bitch’ a try, you could even go for ‘weirdo’, in truth I’d find either less offensive and more entertaining, but when a random passerby elects to address me as ‘Hon’ or any of its derivatives – whether in sl or the real world – it’s tantamount to saying ‘I would very much like you to punch me hard in the nose’. It’s just as well I’m not really all that violent a person!

However, I must have been in a terribly good mood, because I glossed over what was plainly either a very bad typo, or very bad mistake, and allowed myself to be engaged in conversation by my new found friend; that I’m afraid, turned out to be a little bit of a mistake:

[12:11] Complete Stranger: Do I know you Hon………..
[12:11] Serendipidy Haven: don’t think so
[12:12] Complete Stranger: Thought I might have been married to you on sl…………….. 😦
[12:12] Serendipidy Haven: lol – fraid not
[12:12] Serendipidy Haven: i’d remember!
[12:13] Complete Stranger: I would not………. 😦

Notice the apparent ease with which I dealt with the married statement, almost without missing a beat! However, at this point my Freakazoid Alert Siren was blaring out full blast, and the sensible thing would have been to make my excuses and bring the conversation to a halt. When have I ever done the sensible thing though? Besides which, I was more than a little miffed by the presumption that being married to me in sl would be an ultimately forgettable experience… believe me, if you’d ever found yourself in that most regrettable position, the one thing I can guarantee is that you’d quite definitely remember it!

beach8_001I won’t go through the rest of the conversation, other than to say it continued in much the same surreal manner as it had started. There was, of course the inevitable invitation to TP across the sim to join my mystery caller, which I politely declined, but other than that, it was all perfectly polite, respectful and by no means disagreeable, apart from the fact that I spent most of the time wondering what on earth we were actually discussing. It was a bit like having a conversation with a foreigner, when neither of you speak the other’s language, apart from a smattering of  odd words… you think you’re making progress, right up to the point at which you realise you have absolutely no idea what either of you have just said, nod and smile politely, and look for the nearest excuse to exit the conversation.

Except, I never find it that simple: Having wilfully entered into the conversation, I was finding it increasingly difficult to escape. Even the protracted silences between messages weren’t achieving their intended aim – two or three minutes would pass and I’d be breathing a grateful sigh, when suddenly that pesky little box would flash, and the saga would continue…

[12:36]  Complete Stranger: I will have to tell you The Almond Story someday…………

Er, yes… someday. Perhaps. Maybe.

Get a grip, Haven, take control and move on!

So I did – Feigning surprise at the lateness of the hour and muttering about some important business I needed to sort out, I made my excuses – knowing full well that I’d be logged back on in a different location within a few minutes of leaving. No, really it had been lovely talking and we should catch up again sometime… maybe I could hear all about the Almond Story?

And then it happened, just as my cursor was hovering over ‘log out’.

[12:38] Second Life: Complete Stranger is offering friendship.
Would you be my friend?
(By default, you will be able to see each other’s online status.)

Well, what could I do? What would you do?

Of course, I logged off!

s. x

Goodbye stranger it’s been nice
Hope you find your paradise
Tried to see your point of view
Hope your dreams will all come true
Supertramp – Goodbye Stranger

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