I’m sorry to hear that, can you explain the problem to me?
You’re wearing a box? Well, did you intend wearing it? Are you making some sort of fashion statement?
No? Oh, you thought it was clothes? This might seem a silly question, but do you usually have trouble distinguishing clothes from boxes? Yes, I agree, it was a silly question! OK, have you tried taking it off and putting it back on again? You have… and it’s still a box?
Are you quite certain you didn’t just buy a box by mistake – I mean, it’s easy enough to do… box, socks… they do sound very similar. Oh, it was a jacket? Well, er… jacket, packet – you see my point?
Well, there’s no need to be so rude about it! Only trying to help. No, I’m sorry, it’s not something I’ve come across before, all I can suggest is you could perhaps try starting a new trend, maybe everyone will want to wear boxes when they see you strutting your stuff. No?
Well, I suppose you could always use it as a box – you know, for putting clothes and stuff in?
What’s that… it’s full already?
Full of clothes? Well, that’s handy – why don’t you just help yourself to those instead – no-one needs to know!
Not at all, it was my pleasure. Thank you for calling Technical Support.
Help, I need somebody
Help, not just anybody
Help, you know I need someone, help
The Beatles – Help!