Pussy?

11084784_1593505587574934_1389729501_nYou will know by now that I’m just a little bit weird; I do things that normal people don’t. One of those things that I do, and which I really can’t give a logical explanation for, is that I frequently read any interesting spam email that my mail client carefully filters out of my inbox for the express reason that I don’t need to read it. I do anyway – it often gives me a good laugh – and, after being inspired by the madness of James Veitch I’m even considering responding to some of it too! I’ll let you know how that goes.

Before you send for the men in white coats, I should point out that I don’t read all my spam email, and the daily churn of endless marketing emails rarely grabs my attention sufficiently to merit even a quick skim through, other than to seek out the ‘unsubscribe’ link, which I have to say has resulted in the bulk out this rubbish never finding its way into my mail at all. I will however admit to reading almost every comment that gets trapped by the spam filter on this blog – the official reason is that very occasionally it might hoover up a legitimate comment, but it’s really because most of the spam I get here is – to my warped and twisted mind – uproariously funny.

I’m impressed by the pseudo-intelligence of spam bots: They’re getting better all the time. And I’m sure that if they were to be targeting a sensible blog, you could even mistake some of them for real people commenting, but with a blog as eclectic and weird as this one, they tend to stand out a mile.

My favourite fake comment this week was made by somebody apparently called ‘Pussy’, entitled ‘Pussy’ and read as follows:

‘At last! Someone writing about pussy!’

Actually, no. The post in question was certainly not on that topic, and to the best of my knowledge I’ve never written about, or even mentioned ‘pussy’ ever when blogging (until now), so just a little bit wide of the mark there! I’d like to think that this particular errant bot had all the best of intentions and was perhaps celebrating those cute furry, four-pawed critters that eventually turn into cats and ruin run the internet, but somehow I have my doubts… And that’s why the Internet and I are not always best friends.

You see, I’m no prude – not in the slightest actually, but that doesn’t mean that that I don’t have certain standards and consider that there’s a time and place for everything – there are some things that I really don’t want or need all the time, no matter what the context. I appreciate that the Internet is obsessed with porn, but it irritates me that a) there’s so much of it, and b) it’s so – if you’ll excuse the innuendo – in your face. Even with the most robust controls and careful surfing, it’s almost inevitable that you’re going to come across, (again, excuse any innuendo), something that you really wouldn’t be happy for your mum to see. However, that really is the way it is and the only sure solution to that is to stay offline, or develop a thick skin.

toilet_001What I do find irritating is that sex is such an all-consuming part of SL. Please don’t think that I object to anybody getting their rocks off to pixel porn, or virtual stimulation; I don’t, and I imagine that most have tried it at some time or other… It’s just that sometimes I’d like to spend my downtime in SL, without having to be constantly reminded of that fact. It would be lovely, for example, to randomly take a glance at somebody’s profile and not find their group membership comprised of a range of virtual titillation and liberally punctuated by the word ‘sluts’; and, if I’m honest, I really don’t want to know your roleplay limits – do you really think there’s nothing weird about telling the world and his wife that you’re not into bonking animals or having your limbs amputated for sexual pleasure? I mean, is that the sort of thing you’d consider writing in your CV or Facebook profile?

Are decorum and discretion qualities that no longer exist? I only ask because it’s perfectly possible to enjoy whatever variety of virtual naughtiness you wish, without inflicting it upon innocent bystanders. Groups can be hidden, (and if you want to argue that that way you’ll never meet compatible friends, I’m pretty sure you’ll find plenty of them at your regular haunts anyway), and what’s wrong with outlining your roleplay limits and fantasies on a notecard in all their gory detail, with just a simple note in your Picks directing those interested to ask for a notecard? Perhaps you’d like to offer copies of your lurid photo’s, all pouty lips and equally pouty boobies, to enquirers in the same manner, rather than displaying them for the world to see as your profile and RL pictures too?

As for inworld search, I’m starting to think that it’s impossible to to use any keyword in either general or location search without turning up a multitude of strip joints, rape alleyways or BDSM dungeons, none of which have any link to what I’m looking for.

Please don’t think I’m being a spoilsport – you’re more than welcome to enjoy whatever you like inworld, and I’ve no objection to anything that goes on, within reason, but sometimes, just occasionally, it would be lovely if I could spend some time in SL escaping completely from such things – a short time of pure, innocent, child-like fun, without any of the adult garbage and nonsense that is so prevalent elsewhere in RL and on the internet.

Just sayin’

s. x

You are hardcore, you make me hard.
You name the drama and I’ll play the part.
It seems I saw you in some teenage wet dream.
I like your get up if you know what I mean.
Pulp – This Is Hardcore

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