On this particular occasion it’s been very much a case that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, or rather, the flesh is exhausted. I can’t remember any time previously that I’ve felt so drained that I don’t have the energy to put together blog posts, at least not for days on end, but it’s a real struggle right now. I’m putting in long days at work, and they’re pretty challenging and demanding days at that, with long train journeys at both ends of the day. Normally, I’d write during those journeys, but lately I’ve just been falling asleep instead. The change of seasons isn’t helping either – I’ve been on the train 45 minutes this morning, and dawn still hasn’t broken, and I know it will be getting dark by the time I head off to home later.
I think I need to hibernate!
It’s times like this when there’s a huge temptation to fall through the door on arrival back home, grab a packet of noodles as a substitute for proper cooking (eaten straight from the pan – less washing up!), crawl into bed and be asleep before 9pm – I live alone, there’s nothing to stop me from doing it, nothing that is, other than the knowledge that this would be a Bad Thing, and the start of a slippery slide into a Very Bad Thing. Which is where being somewhat addicted to SL saves the day. You see, I am a creature of habit, and unless I have something pressing to do in either the virtual or real world, around about 9pm is when I tend to log in on a weekday. It’s a habit that I wouldn’t say is particularly hard to shake, but it does exert a pull over me when faced with a choice between going inworld to do things, or slobbing around in the sofa doing nothing in particular/heading off for yet another early night. Usually, unless I really cannot keep my eyes open, SL wins.
This I consider to be a Good Thing, since logging in compels me to at least do something; whether that something is chatting and socialising with friends, listening to music or doing something creative, it will require my participation and interaction with the virtual world around me, keeping my brain and faculties active in a way that seems to be oblivious to tiredness and, if nothing else, helps me to feel that I haven’t totally wasted my precious downtime.
Of course, it doesn’t solve the problem of being tired out – I probably could do with a few early nights of quality sleep time, or better still, a few days off from the daily grind – but no amount of sleep seems to make any difference right now, and the chance of any sort of a break is a lost cause, I’m afraid. Maybe I would be better off in bed, but I just know that I would feel that I’m wasting what precious free time I do possess and so, as far as I’m concerned it’s a no brainer. There are few things worse in my mind than a downward spiral of wake-eat-work-eat-sleep…
However, despite its therapeutic benefits, SL isn’t quite so good at masking my current frazzled state… My typing tends to come out pretty mangled at the moment with more than its fair share of typos than is strictly necessary; and that’s when I’m able to keep up with the conversation at all, or even manage to string together a fairly coherent sentence. I keep missing bits of the activity and conversation going on around me; my motor skills are shot to hell and I’ve a tendency to drift off in the middle of a conversa…
And there you have one of the great advantages of writing anything whilst inworld over writing on the train: If you do happen to fall asleep mid flow, there’s nobody nearby for me to dribble on, or to overhear the incoherent mumblings of the semi-conscious zombie that I recently seem to have become!
Hush, little baby don’t you cry
It is just a lullaby
Dreams of rainbows make you stop
That I am here to wake you up
Brennan Heart & The Prophet – Wake Up! (Over The Rainbow Mix)