Who says I don’t have my digital finger on the throbbing pulse of current affairs? And, if anyone dares suggest otherwise, then trust me, I’ll be sending the boys round with loaded firearms and a selection of biblical quotes to put you firmly in your place!
Ever seen those profiles where people desperately try to convince you that they really are who they say? You know the ones, ‘Voice, age and picture verified’, ‘No, I really am a hot, nubile beach babe, and not a fat, middle-aged balding bloke – ask my mum, if you don’t believe me!’ – and you just know it’s all a load of porky-pies!
Well, worry no more! For just 8, crisp, folding, linden bucks, you can own an official HHI ‘Verified Genuine’ checkmark floating above your head. What are you waiting for? Go grab one, before somebody else does, and pretends to be you!
**Disclaimer** Wearing the HHI ‘Verified Genuine’ checkmark does not guarantee the identity of the person wearing it, the only definite fact you can ascertain from it, is that the wearer is L$8 poorer. No resemblance to any person, alive, dead or indifferent should be inferred, neither should any connection, association or resemblance to any entity, commercial or otherwise, be assumed, other than as parodied subject matter. Your home is at risk if you do not keep up payments on a mortgage or loan secured on it. You have the right to remain silent, however anything you say will be taken down and may be used in evidence. No animals were harmed in the making of this item. Product may appear smaller when viewed from a distance. Do not eat. Keep away from babies and small children. May, or may not contain nuts.