Sexy?

How do you define ‘sexy’?

Let’s steer clear of dictionary definitions, which tend to be somewhat clinical and literal, because over time the term has become a lot more nuanced and a lot more subjective.

Much depends – as is the case with preferred learning styles – on how we relate to situations: Some of us prefer visual stimulation, for others it can be the stimulus from other senses – sound, smell, touch. Whilst, for many, it’s very much a case of mood and environment, for example, what may seem incredibly sexy in a candlelit room, alone with a special someone, a bottle of wine, and romantic music, may not feel at all sexy in a crowded supermarket with someone you barely know. Or, vice versa – there’s no accounting for tastes! Even if a scenario ticks all the boxes for you, the mood can instantly be ruined by a bad headache, a screaming kid, uninvited guest or loud and smelly fart!

Sexy isn’t just about sex either. A car can be sexy, a song can be sexy, so too can a voice, a dance or designer kitchen cabinets! It’s all about context and personal appeal in much the same way that exactly the same photograph in black and white, with soft focus might be considered arty, erotic and sexy, but in full colour, and posted on a website, it might be considered tacky, exploitative and pornographic – and, ironically, by some – sexy!

The point I’m trying to make is that ‘sexy’ is very much in the eye of the beholder, and whilst there may be certain societal conventions that broadly encompass various definitions of the word, it’s really not for others to tell me what is, or is not, sexy, although advertising agencies, in particular, don’t seem to have got that message. Neither, it seems, have SL content creators.

I’m a member of several inworld groups for stores and events that routinely send out advertisements, shopping HUDs and event notices, and not a day goes by – sometimes, not even an hour goes by – without me receiving numerous invitations to buy, visit or try new creations, and it would be fair to say that a good 85% or more of those items – whatever they might be – have a description or title preceded by the word ‘sexy’.

I could understand if everyone was trying to sell me lingerie, but that’s simply not the case, and I’ve been known to sigh audibly on receipt of an advert for ‘Sexy brown coat’, ‘Sexy jumpsuit’, ‘Sexy Easter bunny costume’, ‘Sexy pirate’, ‘Sexy Kawaii Shopping Event’ – seriously, that last one doesn’t even make sense! It irritates me immensely, firstly because it’s just lazy: whatever happened to descriptive titles? Partly, it’s because in many cases it’s just appended to an item by way of some sort of bizarre thought process that has concluded ‘sexy sells’, no matter what the item in question. On that basis, maybe I should rename my cyber radioactive waste bin, ‘Sexy cyber radioactive waste bin’, and watch sales go through the roof? Mainly though, it because it seems the majority of creators, sellers, event-hosters and – presumably – buyers, are of the opinion that the definition of sexy in SL is ‘partially clothed’.

Perhaps I should say ‘barely’ rather than ‘partially, since current fashion trends seem to dictate that dresses should expose vastly more flesh than they obscure, underwear should be at least 4 sizes too small than required to adequately fulfil the role for which underwear is intended, and pretty much any item of clothing, whatever its purpose, should be mostly transparent, cut too short where it should be long, too narrow where it should be wide, and either way too tight or way too loose to serve any practical purpose, other than to expose whatever it’s supposed to be covering. The same would seem to apply to both female and male clothing.

Now, I’m no prude, but there ain’t no way I’ll be wearing any of that tat to go exploring the virtual world. Although, judging from many of the avatars I see around me, that’s not a concern shared by everyone – either that, or faced by the lack of any real variety in clothing available for their very expensive and oddly-shaped mesh body, the only other option is to wear a sack.

I can however draw some positivity from the current state of sartorial affairs: it’s drastically cut down on the amount of notices and ads that I feel any need to open, read or look at. I now know that if anything pops up in the corner of my screen and is described as ‘sexy’, I can happily delete it without looking, since it will contain absolutely nothing that I’ll have any interest in whatsoever. Great news for me, but if only a small percentage of those receiving these notices come to the same conclusion that I have, it’s not such great news for those reliant on such things to promote their brands and make sales, if a bunch of potential customers are just going to bin notices without opening.

I’ve written ad nauseum about the state of the SL rag trade, and how inworld clothing has become horribly predictable, severely limited in variety and utterly lacking in taste. I’m not going to go over it again because, until we get some seriously enlightened mesh designers who are more interested in the potential of fashion rather than just raking in the lindens, and until people stop buying the trash that they’re being saddled with in protest, nothing is going to change. Besides, I’m boring myself by getting up on the same old soap box, yet again, so I must be boring you too!

Maybe I’ll come up with some topics that are more wholesome and edifying in the future, but then again, this is SL…

So, fat chance of that!

I’m too sexy for my shirt
Too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts
Right Said Fred – I’m Too Sexy